The evolution of my dance.

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I am so excited to be dancing. (You didn't notice, did you?) I was talking with my Dance instructor Michael about what my goals are today. What I do know and can say with all honesty is that I want to become the absolute best dancer I can become within my capacity and time. I want to be able to create a visual art form that is both as fulfilling for me to create as it is to watch. That is my ultimate goal.

This weekend we were visiting some antique stores...and I was looking at certain pieces that I liked and I thought...I could be buying a lot of this stuff if I wasn't dancing. I could be ordering custom upholstered furniture if I wasn't dancing. I could buy more chandeliers if I wasn't dancing. Just thinking about it for a moment made me get a tiny knot in my stomach. I LOVE gorgeous furniture. I love chandeliers. You KNOW that. But then, I thought about what I would do if I wasn't dancing. And it made me want to cry. I can't stop dancing! It's more than a physical object of art.

It's both art and therapy, excersize and life creation. It's giving life to my body in a way that nothing else could. I am learning to make something beautiful...and sometimes it feels like I am climbing a mountain I will NEVER reach the top of. But that is ok. I realize that because I watch other dancers who are able to make something beautiful...and just like Nester says...it applies to dancing just as much...It doesn't have to be PERFECT to be beautiful. I believe that. I know I will not ever achieve perfection. But beauty comes with imperfection and heart and soul.

That is what I feel when I dance,or even teaching or taking my wonderful Zumba classes. I am healed of all depression! I have struggled with depression in the past. I have fought it off and on for years...and for the past almost year and a half that these things have been a part of my life...depression and any signs of it have vanished.VANISHED!!! Can you believe that? It's truly a sign to me that it is MEANT for me to do these things. And as much as I may LOVE antique treasures and crystal sparkling lights...it can't touch what dance has done for me. Healing.

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I feel so grateful for that...and I pray that God will allow me to be involved in it as long as I possibly can be. =) Where will it take me? I don't know. Whether it becomes a career for me someday I don't know, but I do see it as a distinct possibility. Sharing something you love with others seems quite natural. I think I could love teaching it to others. I see my life as needing to dance. Not WANTING to dance, (though I do) but NEEDING it. Like water and air.

It will be a large part of my life for the foreseeable future, and I am perfectly pleased about that.