I said goodbye to my friend today....

"Hope your move goes smoothly." I said, softly smiling as we hugged for the last time. "I guess we might not see each other for a while." She realized, as I started to choke and tear up. "If you start, I'm going to start!" I thought about when we would see each other again. Maybe after I had my baby in June, sometime after that I could fly with the new baby to visit. But I didn't say it, because it sounded too far off. In some part of me it felt like that might be the best I could do. But I knew that would feel like such a long time. She opened the door out into the icy winter air and freshly fallen snow, her reminder that she was still in the Midwest. Her new home would be in the South, where the air resides at a toasty 78-80 degrees on any regular January day.

As she drove away I really did start to cry, and I blew my nose into a napkin as I took my daughter up to get dressed for school. I hoped she wouldn't notice so I faced away from her as I blubbered into her closet grabbing some clothes for her to wear. I know I am pregnant so maybe that's why I am feeling so emotional. But I don't think it is. We spent the day together yesterday. Both of us have younger sisters that live in this area, who are the same age and friends as well, so the four of us got together and just had such a wonderful time. Eating food, sitting around my dining table at lunch, talking about everything in the world. We sorted the entire time through all my decorating magazines collecting ideas for her new house. It was my best friend's idea that we needed to start a Mormon pop girlie group, kinda like the spice girls called HMM.. which would obviously stand for Hot Mormon Mammas. We laughed over this idea and then moved on to the ever so important topic of deciding if we were all old Hollywood Starlet's who would we all be. By BFF would be Marilyn Monroe, I would be Gracy Kelly, Her lil Sis would be Audrey Hepburn, and my lil Sis would be Ester Williams. And we'd all hang out just like this together in one of our gorgeous Mansions. Then we talked more seriously about how blessed the people of this country are. How much we have in comparison the majority of the world. So many people live in poverty, without shelter, or access to safe water supplies. How thankful we are. We ate yummy fresh bread with a freshly herbed olive oil dip, salad (girlie food), and finished that off with delectable Christmas goodies, Lindt Truffles and Butter Shortbread cookies. Later, they all congratulated me on my latest discount deals at the Designer Shoe Wear house, as I slowly unveiled the fruits of my hunt a few days ago.

After several hours, they all went home. But our night was not over. As my DH worked late, my BFF left her two kiddies in bed at their Grandma's house, and she headed back up to visit with me for a few hours more. We ran to the last restaurant open for fudgey chocolate cake and ice cream. We talked late into the wee hours of the morning. These have become our tradition. Whether we are out on a warm summer night, or cozied up on a blanket by my Christmas tree like last night, we have so much to talk about. Hitting virtually every topic imaginable, we commiserate, laugh, try to help each other work through a difficult period in one or the other's life. Talking always helps. She stayed so late that she just spent the night in our guest room. I felt so happy yesterday, and it made me realize how there is a little hole in my life without her around. There is a special place in my heart that is reserved for a "cherished friend" . And although I have so many wonderful people near me- husband, children, other family- no one can fulfill that role but her. And so as I said goodbye this morning, I felt the loss that it will leave in my daily existence. But I know it is best for them to be where they are- I know they are growing and becoming more, and that it is all good - so I fully support them. Until we meet again, dear friend, I will fill the empty space you left with good memories, phone calls, emails, and the thankfulness I have that we met.