cRaSh n' BurN....

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So yeah- the whole "trying to find clothes that actually look decent on me" I think was a mistake for now. I tried on MANY things last night- and EVERYTHING made me look FAT, FATTER, and like I seriously need to audition for " What NOT to wear". It was slightly disappointing- but I just took it as a sign that I should save my money and give myself a few more weeks to slim down a bit before I try THAT again. Like my sisters and Friends were telling me, "give yourself a break! You JUST had a baby 2 weeks ago!!!" So I will try to do that- despite how badly I want to look cute in my favorite pair of Chip & Pepper jeans again.

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While my sister Steph and I were shopping with our babies, we stopped for a nursing break on a bench. As we sat there we people watched- it being a Saturday there were TONS of people out. We started analyzing people as they went by.

"Ooh! Look at her Sandals-- I want those.. only I wouldn't tie them all the way up my calf like that..."

"Okay! Let's choose our favorite cute fashion girl." I said.

So we watched for some super fashiony cute girl for a few minutes. We didn't really find anyone.

Then my sister goes, "Let's pick out the most stylish fat person. I mean, other than you- of course."

Hahaha!!!! I thought that was just hilarious. I realize she totally was NOT meaning that I was fat... we had just been talking about how when you just have had a baby you start to notice how MANY people there are out there who look chubby in the middle and probably have to camouflage it with fashion- or OUGHT to. Many people just ignore it completely and dress like a thin person... which is quite a scary scenario when you wear a tight top and you have a big roll on your belly lopping over the waistline that is totally showing for the world to see. It is a real CHALLENGE!! It takes skill- that's for sure. Anyway, I digress. . it was fun just to sit and people watch. ( If you can't tell I LOVE fashion so much and love the idea of making people over.. it's fun.)

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It's totally amazing how many people smile at you when you have a super cute little baby with you. It kinda makes you feel like a celebrity. Every other person looks over as we walked around- "ooooohs" and "aaaahs" over her. I had at least 3 old couples come up and they had been trying to guess her age. I decided that instead of a cute new shirt I'll just let Elsie be my sweet Fashion accessory for now! She's got the adorable baby thing down already.

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I went to church with Elsie today... luckily no little kids tried to touch her- that's always my biggest worry with a newborn baby. Everyone kept a polite distance and it felt really nice to get back to church. I love it, and I really love our ward. As time has gone by our ward family has really bonded I think. We split a while back (was it 2 years ago now?I can't remember. ) and it was pretty difficult at first. People didn't have that connection that a ward whose families have known each other for 20 years has. But it's really growing together, I think, and although I have no SOUL-mate BFF's or anything like that, there are a handful of girls and people I truly feel care about me and feel a really lovely friendship with, despite our differences. It's fun, and I really enjoy going, serving, and participating.

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On another note with that, in the fall I think it was, I had been asked to Substitute teach in our Gospel Doctrine Class. I was Terrified with a capital T! But I said Yes anyway... and I studied and prepared as best I could so as to not look like a scriptural ignoramus while I was up there. I really wanted to do a good job, despite my COMPLETE and utter lack of confidence in my own knowledge/ability. It went off really well. And I was even shocked at how well it went. More than having had a good class, that experience changed my attitude. it changed the way I felt, and participated in that class. Ever since that experience I sit in the front or almost front row and I feel like I know how the teacher is feeling, and I understand more of how the lesson should go... and I am not afraid to participate and add comments- even though I am by NO means a scriptorian. It really affected me, and it confirmed to me WHY heavenly father sometimes asks us to do things that we ourselves don't in the slightest think we can do. And then we have faith, say YES , and miraculously He blesses us with the ability to do them. And that's how we grow. It is awesome. I am super grateful for that.

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Anyway.. Mark should be home late tonight from their little weekend getaway. I guess the kids swam all day yesterday. So I am excited to hear what else they did. Bye!