I did a bad, bad thing.
I have no idea why I did it. I was feeling antsy. I was feeling bored. I was feeling in the "mood for a change" . All of the above. I went there, I was feeling creative. I said, "Let's make it noticeable!!"
He said "How about to here?"
I said, "Yeah!"
And snip, snip, cut,cut, slash, slash, hack, hack......
"umm...what's going on here? " I'm thinking in my head.
Okay, I am easily changeable! I can handle change! I am COOOOL like that. I can take it. I have had red hair, brown hair, blond hair, raspberry hair, all lengths. So I am COOOL. I can TAKE it. You can not ruffle my feathers.
Okay, so why am I feeling so freaked out right now?
NO, no, I am good. Plus, I don't want to make HIM feel bad- like I don't LIKE what he spent nearly 2 hours doing!
"How do you like it?" He beams at me like a painter after a masterpiece.
"It's AMAZING!!!" I beam back.
As I am driving home through icy snow, a 20 minute drive turns to an hour.
I am letting it all sink in.
I get home, my sister and husband see it.
"You wanted a change huh?" They both seem to say.
Not "THAT LOOKS FABULOUS!!" or "WOW- you look AMAZING!!"
just, "That's nice.. "
Augghhhhh! After about an hour home it all sinks in. Slowly I transform into SCARY GARGOYLE FROM THE EVIL UNDERWORLD.
the crying ensues.
I might have said it would have been better if I were never born, or something to that effect. And many many other things I now regret.
I really couldn't choke back the sobs, even for my 2 year old, who was making faces at me.
I fell asleep at some point with all my clothes on in my bed, sobbing under my comforter.
Why did I become a crazy person just because he cut my hair, as I TOLD him to? After the fact I now realize that I had become VERY attached to my long hair. Everyone complimented me on it. Everyone liked it. Heck, I liked it. But now it is short. Not crazy short, but just about at my shoulder length. I know I should be fine with it. But I have realized that I created some of my identity through that hair. And he "decapitated" it. He chopped it off. He took it away. I know, it'll grow back. Some day. If I want it to. WHICH if I could wave a magic wand right now it WOULD.
But until then, I must be strong. And maybe buy a book on cute mid length hair styles.
3 comments:
Thanks for your compliment! I just got it at one of those huge home wharehouse/decorating places called "hobby lobby" ..nowhere special. But I did gold leaf it myself after I bought it!
i felt the exact same way when I cut bangs recently. I hate them. It sucks and I wish I never did it, but I wanted a bold change. I would get pissed off when I would try to fix them and think 'he should have known better, my face doesn't look right with bangs!" But it was my choice and now for the growing process.
It did help to google celebrity images to see how other people are doing it and get ideas. It's like learning a new language.
Aw, after about a week of having long hair dreams (And waking up with a start when you realize it wasn't real) you'll be okay.
I did that once with a japanese beauty school student in London, only I ended up with short short hair and two orange mulletts...
So it could be a lot worse!
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