"I wish I could make it easier for you."
~
I said to Lena on the way to school today.
~She broke down in tears on the short trip to school this morning again. I asked her why.
"They are doing this play-thing...with parts, that we have to read and say..."
~
"And you don't like it?" I query.
~
"No, it's just that...all the other kids... they can read it....I can't. " The floodgates open. She starts to near sob. I can tell there is a lot more she could say. It is a heavy cry. My eyes well up with tears too. We are almost to the school now.
~
What can I do? What can I possibly say to help her? I feel so helpless.
What can I do? What can I possibly say to help her? I feel so helpless.
~
"Lena, would you like me to talk to your teacher and have her help you read your part?"
~
That must sound embarrassing. "No."She quickly responds. "There are girls, in my class, who help me sometimes...."
~
Right at the same moment there is a song on the radio... It goes, "I was born...to tell you I love you.."
~
It somehow fits the moment.
"I love you so much Lena. I am so sorry."
~
She wipes her face. She knows that she has to face another day. I can tell she is resigned to it. I wish it wasn't so hard for her.
She wipes her face. She knows that she has to face another day. I can tell she is resigned to it. I wish it wasn't so hard for her.
~
We pull into the school. She calmly gets out. Without a goodbye, she grabs her bag, and walks towards the door.
~
As I pull out, I start to cry. For her. I know it's a small thing. And that our little issues are truly tiny in comparison to many. But she is my daughter.
~
And when her heart is hurt, so is mine.
7 comments:
It is so heart wrenching to see your child go through things like this, and yet, you still have to tell yourself that it's part of our earthly experience and all things have been given us, and our kids, for our/their benefit.
Maybe Lena needs some additional help. There are many resources out there you can look into. It is hard to like school when you can't grasp the material being taught. Might help her whole perspective.
Aw, I want to cry! That is so hard!
rachel,
i can SO relate to this post, on a few different levels. first, as a mother. my son is in first grade and is my most sensitive child. when he first started kindergarten, he cried and cried, even though i was literally right next door the whole day (i'm a K teacher). it hurt so bad to see him so upset, and i had a hard time letting go for those few hours every day. i can also relate as a teacher...i have had plenty of shy and sensitive kids in my class, and i've even had parents email me, saying "please don't mention this to little susie, but..." and they proceed to tell me how susie was scared to say her poem that day, or that she didn't like getting up in front of the class. it really helped me out to be more sensitive to HER needs, without her feeling the direct need to tell me, or me confronting her about it.
anyway, i know it's hard, and i can completely sympathize. and even though it may seem like going against what Lena wanted you to do, it might really help the teacher to be aware of her sensitivity if you could casually hint at it, or drop her an email or something.
just a suggestion- hope things for Lena get better! it sounds like homeschooling will be a great fit for her (and you!) :) .
Rachel,
Had to stop by and say that I can totally sympathize with Lena! I used to be her when I was in 1st and 2nd grade. EVERYONE else knew how to read and I couldn't. Now I love to read but I totally remember what it was like then. I really admire Lena for being so brave going to school and trying day after day. I know many adults would just quit if they were up against something that they couldn't do.
Good luck to both of you!
Rachel, first off, I love your blog, so cute. Second, I'm so sorry about Lena. Also...Jared felt so bad about showing up right before the missionaries came over for dinner! He could tell you didn't know, sorry! And lastly, my baking blog is stephlovestobake.blogspot.com
school is WAAAAAAAY overrated!!!
Lena has so many awesome talents it's really hard to see her feeling like she is less than adequate. There are many really intelligent people that didn't learn to read at the normal time. And honestly I think she is doing great with reading when I've heard her. I just think people have pushed kids so hard and the schools have had to push them ahead into things many kids aren't developmentally ready to handle.
grrrrr.
Hi Rachel! I came over to your blog from the homeschooling yahoo group. First off, I am so sorry for your little girl! I grew up with such amazing school memories and have wanted the same for my children. I'm sure you are no different! My girls are in 4th and 2nd grades. We too live in a great school district but there are some things that I personally have not been thrilled with. I am President of our Parent Group and have tried to be involved as much as possible throughout the years so that the staff and admin no who I am. Sadly (or not so sadly depending on how you look at it) I have come to the point where I think it is time to begin homeschooling my soon to be 5th grader. I just recently joined different homeschool support groups. With that being said I do not have insider tips or ideas for you. Instead I have the empathy of another mother trying to figure out and do what is best for their child. Blessings to you as you begin this journey!!
P.S. Love your blog!!!
Post a Comment